Things I'm Noodling On: Summary or Story

I've been noodling for a while on the lack of connection I feel when and after I've been in a family or large social gathering.  It's pretty normal for me to to spend an entire evening or day with people I know and love & leave feeling mentally exhausted. Mental exhaustion for me usually follows events or times when I've not contributed or connected with the people around me. And it's a situation that has made me consistency ask myself, "What the hell is wrong with me?" I wonder why I feel so unsatisfied and uninterested in the people I share space & time with? It's been a hard nut to crack.

I think I've noticed a pattern in the conversations that leave me drained and exhausted and they typically revolve around summarizing in one of these 4 categories:
  1. Other People: the unreasonable, those who have veered too far from established norms and the ones who make choices we wouldn't....and our passive aggressive bid of 'good luck with that' for them?
  2. Illness: shaking heads and drawn out sighs...and the silent pleasure of being the person with the most gory or intimate details.
  3. Civic Annoyances: frustrated recounts of high taxes, terrible teachers, old water lines...and then the unchallenged resignation that we are helpless victims so "complaining doesn't do any good anyway."
  4. Scary Things: the ever-growing number of untrustworthy organizations, technologies, works of art and schools of thought...and the evil people responsible who are all out to get us.
I think I'm figuring out why I leave people disconnected and unsatisfied; instead of sharing stories we are summarizing the daily drivel or discussing our interpretation of stories that aren't ours to share. I kinda started to think we lost the willingness to authentically share our stories, but now I beginning to wonder if we've just forgotten or never really learned how to genuinely share our stories. And I wonder if it's because it's vulnerable. Maybe summarizing is the misguided belief that we can connect with people and protect ourselves at the same time.

I've been learning for years that stories connect us and I want to move in and really connect with people. I want to listen to their stories and hear how events in someone's life lead to evolution of something. I want to contribute and to share our broken, boring and brutiful real lives as the only way to feel fully alive and truly connected.

What do you think?

I'm using these 2 definitions for summarize and story.
Summarize = v: give a brief statement of the main points of (something)
Story = n: an account of past events in someone's life or in the evolution of something

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